I just watched the restored version of 2001 a Space Odyssey. It was in 4K made from a scan of the original 70mm camera negative. I knew that it was going to look great, but my real question was how well does this movie hold up? Is it still an entertaining movie to watch?

My conclusions surprised me. The special effects still hold up. I can not imagine they could be improved much, even with the best of today’s 3D software. I have very fond memories of it when I was blown away as a kid the first time I saw it. This is the first time I have seen the film in the quality the movie creators intended since I saw it in the theater, and it looks incredible.

That being said, a lot has changed since 1968 when the film came out. I want to first look at some of the other science fiction films that came out in the 1960s. The decade began with the 1960 The Time Machine. It is the special effects that make it so iconic. One of my actor headshots from back in the day has me holding the Academy Award for special effects from the film that we borrowed from a friend.

I did not care for the 1966 Fantastic Voyage as a kid, but it still sort of holds up. The science is atrocious, but the special effects were impressive for the time and were Academy Award winning. It was the biggest budget science fiction film ever made at the time. By the way, the story came from Jerome Bixby, not Isaac Asimov, who wrote the novelization based on the existing script. Bixby wrote It’s a Good Life, which became one of the best Twilight Zone episodes. He also wrote four Star Trek scripts, and his 1958 screenplay It! The Terror from Beyond Space inspired the 1970 film Alien.

The same year 2001 came out also saw the release of Planet of the Apes, another very important movie in the history of science fiction cinema. Rod Serling wrote the initial script. I rewatched it not that long ago, and it holds up surprisingly well, certainly better than the much later version with Mark Wahlberg. Charleton Heston (who my wife Belle worked with in the past and she really liked him when she expected not to), managed to make several science fiction movies in the 60’s and early 70’s that hold up surprisingly well. Omega Man from 1971 is still a good watch. (So is the movie it was a remake of, the 1964 Last Man on Earth starring Vincent Price, who turns in a realistic and very effective performance without all the camp of so many of his movies. The third remake starring Will Smith, I am Legend, which was the title of the 1954 book by William Matheson, I thought was terrible.) Soylent Green from 1973 also holds up very well and still seems relevant, with terrific performances from Heston and the final performance of Edgar G. Robinson.

All of these movies had lasting impacts, and much to my amazement, each and every one of them is a more entertaining film than 2001.

2001 had a huge impact on science fiction movies going forward. The special effects have a jaw dropping realism, especially for the time. It is filled with symbolism. Having just rewatched it in a format close to the director’s original intent, I am not sure how well it holds up as a movie.

Let’s start with the opening: The Dawn of Man. The actors were quite convincing as early man, but the scene goes on and on and repetitiously on. The story in this sequence is that man is vulnerable to attack from animals and other men. The monolith somehow conveys to them the concept of tools, and so one of them turns a bone into a weapon. This sequence takes over 15 minutes, and there is no music, just endless grunting. There is a short segment of Ligeti’s Requiem (more on Ligetti later) played during the reveal of the monolith, but I found this music annoying. Very little happens. Dawn of Man is exquisitely crafted, but I think you could tell the same story in five minutes and it would be far more effective. This opening sequence starts the movie slow, and the rest of the movie continues at what to me seemed a surprisingly glacial pace.

There is the famous transition from bone to spaceship, and then we are introduced to Dr. Heywood Floyd, riding a shuttle up to the space station. Not introduced, actually, he is asleep. After the long Dawn of Man sequence, as a kid a I remember being amazed at watching what felt like actually being in space. Sure, we had seen the real thing by then, but this was the first time I remember seeing a film that felt like it depicted space realistically. I was mesmerized.

The first dialogue is not spoken until 30 minutes into the film. Actually, the film has very little dialogue, and much of it is unimportant and inconsequential. Normal chit-chat. I could have memorized any of the character’s lines in a couple of hours (and I am slow). This movie is about visuals and ideas, not dialogue. Sadly, for me, I really like dialogue. I like the verbal interplay between characters. It is often how you learn more about them. This movie is not about characters.

One of the most surprising aspects of the film for me was the almost total lack of character development. All of the characters are flat and emotionless. We follow Dr. Floyd all the way to the moon. We learn almost nothing about him (other than that he has an adorable daughter, who contributes nothing to the story in their video chat, but at least conveys some emotion in contrast to her father’s generally flat affect). Not much happens other than the visual thrill of life in space. Through Floyd’s brief conversation with a Russian scientist we learn that there is something mysterious on the moon that is being covered up by the Americans. That is all that Floyd actually contributes to the story. It takes about 35 minutes of screen time to convey this one bit of information. Then Floyd is discarded and the movie focuses on the two astronauts.

Watching this I realized that the Floyd character has no purpose other than to serve as Basil Exposition, and he actually does very little of that. He has no character arc, does little to move the story along, and could have been replaced with any character. Can you even name the actor who played him? The answer is William Sylvester. This was his last major role and he did only minor work after this.

The last part of the movie focuses on the trip to Jupiter with Dr. David “Dave” Bowman (Keir Dullea) and Dr. Frank Poole (Gary Lockwood, who was Gary Mitchell in the first Star Trek aired episode). They are accompanied by the HAL 9000 computer (voiced by Douglas Rain), and these three are the only actual “characters” in the film. HAL is the only one with much personality.

Then we get to the only plot in the movie. HAL goes nuts (and yes, you might find the reason for HAL going nuts less than satisfying) and attempts to kill the entire crew. Here we get action sequences in super slow motion. Not that they were slowed down, they just move at the same slow pace as the rest of the film. Dave winds up as the last surviving crew member.  Think of a male but super passive and uninteresting version of Ripley. Dave takes HAL offline, and continues on his mission.

The movie ends with sequence of optical effects done practically, as this was before digital effects, and Dave flies in the pod through a vortex that today we’d probably call a wormhole. It has long been said that this sequence is best viewed while stoned. As it turns out, I had taken a dose for pain, and it kicked in right about the time this sequence started. I do believe it is better while high, but still way too long.

That brings me to another issue I had. The use of classical music over slow moving space shots was brilliant, but not the original plan. They were used as placeholders until the final music could be added, but they worked so well that they kept them in. They used none of the original score composed by Alex North (Dr. Strangelove, A Streetcar Named Desire, Cleopatra, Spartacus, Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?), who did not learn that his music wasn’t used until he went to the studio screening.

The original North score was recorded many years later by a full orchestra under the direction of Jerry Goldmith, and I had the opportunity to hear it. For me, the Dawn of Man probably would have been much better with the North score instead of just 15 minutes of grunting. The entire North score is quite impressive, and in sync with the classical music Kubrick loved, but Kubrick did not want to budge on using classical music. It works amazingly well for most of the film (although I would love to see it with the North score), until we get to the final sequence. This is where he uses music from a modern composer.

The contemporary music that he did choose to use was, astonishingly, used without permission. The composer’s name is György Ligeti, and Kubrick used four of his compositions that use micropolyphony, the use of sustained dissonant chords that shift slowly. Atmosphères may be the most annoying music ever written, and it goes on endlessly during the flight through the wormhole. I don’t think all the pot in the world could make this more pleasant to listen to. Ligeti sued Kubrick and won a settlement.

There are a three women scientists in one brief scene, but they have little to do. This was the 1960s after all. This movie is primarily about men, and being the 1960’s, all of those men were white. Sexism was rather astonishingly bad in mid-twentieth century science fiction. Even for the standards of the 60s, though, women play very little role in 2001.

To be fair, Arthur C. Clarke was a gay man who never really did women characters all that well, although many of his peers did even worse (I’m looking at you, Isaac, whom women dubbed the man with a hundred hands). Clarke’s Rendevoux with Rama had more equality between the male and female characters, although the female characters do not show up until many pages into the story. Unfortunately, all of the characters are quite flat and emotionless. Still, I enjoyed the story, and it has been in development hell since 1972. It was announced late last year (2021) that it is still in active development as a feature film.

My bottom line is that 2001 is one of the most important science fiction films of the twentieth century, with the space station docking scene still breathtaking. But, as a vehicle intended to be entertaining, it lacks interesting characters other than HAL, very little happens, there is no actual character development (turning into a star child of which we have no understanding is not character development), the story is bare bones, the non-classical music is jarring and unpleasant to listen to, and like other Clarke stories, it does not really go anywhere. The journey is what is important, not the destination. We do not know much more about what is going on at the end than we did in the beginning.

2001 seems to violate so many rules of good storytelling, and I don’t think it is always successful when it does that. Now I will have to reread the novel to see if it had the same issues. Much food for thought as I explore my own characters and plotting.

Movies are certainly a huge influence on me, I studied screenwriting in college, I think visually, so, you might wonder, why do I not just cut to the chase and write Relentless as a screenplay? There are ever so many excellent reasons.

I would never write a script on spec. That means that like writing fiction, you write the script and shop it around (or your agent does, assuming you have one). There are 50,000 scripts registered with the Writer’s Guild of America every year. Of those, maybe a handful of spec scripts might be purchased. That means that the writer is paid a fee to not do anything with the script while whoever paid the money explores the possibility of producing the script. It used to be that you could get a nice chunk of change to option your script, which you typically have to keep off the market for about a year. That is no longer the case. You typically would be looking at $1000 to option a script. That is just not worth it. Many consider the very idea of a spec script as essentially dead.

The odds are that even if you got your script optioned, it will never get made. There are so many obstacles, even if a studio is interested. You could wind up in turnaround hell, which can last years, and in some cases, decades. I think your odds are better winning the lottery.

The number of writers versus the number of scripts actually produced is staggering. Sure, the only ones that really count are the already very good writers, but there are still a lot more of them than there are productions made.

How many scripts, on average, did a successful screenwriter have to write before selling one? I have heard estimates from between 5 and 15. It can take years and lots of effort just to get competent at writing a screenplay. You have to be excellent to even stand a chance, and even then it is a slim one. If you want to make a living at something, that is no way to make a living. I wrote scripts primarily for industrials, so I know the proper structure and formatting, but I just don’t have anywhere near the skill or knowledge of a competent screenwriter.

If you are in the industry, and have connections, your odds go up a bit, but it is still tough. I have friends who write scripts. One of them got his first script turned into a movie by raising the money, directing, and producing it himself. That is actually becoming a more viable option, as production costs, especially for special effects, are coming down dramatically. He was already a well-established actor at the time with a lifetime of experience and tons of connections in the industry. The others I know got their breaks screenwriting after many years of writing for television, which is a tiny bit easier to break into. It is still tough, though, even with the dramatic increase in streaming content.

None of those things are the main reason I prefer to write in the novel form. Yes, you’ll have book editors who will want to change and craft things, but you still have input. You write your vision and something close to that, if sold, will be what is published. Once you sell a script, the final product may be completely unrecognizable to you, even with your name in the credits.

I like the attitude of Stephen King. His stories are already out there. He takes the money and lets them do what they want. Don’t like the movie? The book is better. He has control over his books, and realizes that writers have little control over movies.

I’ll stick with writing books, thank you. I write to make money, and I write to share ideas. If I write a book and can’t sell it, there are alternative ways to get it out there. Not so much with a screenplay.

What Is Up with Us

Life continues to challenge. Besides just losing my dad and a close friend, we got an initial diagnosis of cancer for one of our cats. That has us a bit sad. Not as directly impactful, but also still sad, is news we just learned about an old friend. Belle and I used to share a big house with a 3D artist and his programmer wife, and I just learned that he passed away. We had been out of touch for years, and I had wondered what he was up to, and was very sad to learn the news.

The house we shared with them was very cool. It even had a turret that we called the tower room, which Belle used as an office. My office was enormous and had 16 foot ceilings, so I had a total of 16 feet of bookshelves lining opposite walls that went up 16 feet. That is a staggering 256 feet of shelf space, and I had it pretty much filled. When we did move, I was finally persuaded that I needed to reduce the size of my book collection.

We were all creative types with many shared interests, so it was a fun place to live. They eventually moved for a job, and it was just too big a house for just two of us, so we moved as well. I will always have fond memories of that amazing house nestled in the oaks.

I need to pull myself up and get back to writing the novel. My non-fiction book has been roaring along though, shaping up nicely, and getting me close to the finish line. My deadline is May, and I hate missing deadlines. With my illness, I build in a lot of wiggle room. I actually have until July, which is probably more realistic.

The main problem for me is that I am just much slower at the physical process of writing on a computer. With my frequent loss of proprioception, I can no longer touch type as I do not know the relationship between the keyboard and my fingers without looking.  I just can’t type as fast, and along with loss of fine motor control, I have to fix a lot more typos. It does slow me down. I used to be able to crank out 2,000 words a day without breaking a sweat. Now a good day is between 1,000 and 1,500 words.

My wife and I went out to Riverside for a few days for the memorial service for my dad. I traveled a lot before my illness, but I now have a new issue with traveling that might surprise you. It is not a topic that people generally talk about, but here goes.

The reason is because hotels in America do not have bidets. I have reached the point where I simply do not like having to use a bathroom without them. That pretty much just leaves using them at home.

I have become a complete convert. They were transformative for me. It is simple technology, and one of the few side benefits of the epidemic, since the toilet paper shortages increased their popularity in the U.S. and dropped the prices.

Unfortunately, no one can be told what the bidet is. You have to try it for yourself (to paraphrase a line from the Matrix.) Go on Amazon, where you can find them as add-ons to your existing facilities for under $50. Read the comments. Over and over again, people write about how it changed their life. I don’t want to go into detail, but I can affirm that it is life changing. I do leave home without it, but I wish I didn’t have to.

I also recently acquired another bit of technology that I am loving more than I thought I would. I wrote earlier about our Christmas adventures and the failure of our door lock. I replaced it with a smart lock. One of the seemingly endless problems with my condition is the loss of a lot of fine motor control in my hands. The result has been a not infrequent dropping of my keys as I try to get into the house. Bending over to retrieve them is painful. A smart lock makes it all so much easier. I can punch in a code with one finger even if that arm is holding a bag. If my phone is on, the door automatically unlocks as I approach. I also never have to remember to lock the door when I go out, as it locks automatically. I can leave the house and get in the car and drive away without ever having to take keys out. So much better.

 

Each year at Christmas I make enough to pay my Magic Castle dues by doing celebrity appearances. I am not a celebrity, but when I put on the red suit and the beard, I become the biggest celebrity in the world. Everyone loves Santa Claus.

Those are big shoes and a big belly to fill, so I have to wear a fat suit. With all the layers I have to put on over the fat suit, it can get a bit warm, especially here in Los Angeles where it can and has been nearly 100 degrees right before Christmas, and we are talking Fahrenheit, not Celsius. This year was an especially cold Christmas, so I was glad to have all the layers.

My wife, who is also a magician and entertainer, becomes Mrs. Claus and joins me as we do our visits. Actually, she runs the whole show and I just go along. We did Santa visits for a private school. The first day was for the second graders, and the second day was for the kindergartners. They are so developmentally different. For the younger crowd, my Santa speaks more softly and gently. He is a bit more boisterous for the older kids.

I do not have kids sit on my lap and tell me what they want for Christmas. We tried that when we first started doing this, but having to deal with kids asking for Santa to bring them back their father (more than once, and I never knew whether he was dead, in the military, or separated from the mom) was too much for me. Besides, that is for my mall Santa helpers. Many of the kids explained to me that they knew that the Santas they see at the mall are just helpers dressing up like me, and that they knew I was the real Santa.

This year was much better than last year. In the picture below from last year is Belle as Mrs. Claus in our green screen studio. We had to do all the Santa visits via Zoom. It was not nearly as fun and much less profitable.

I actually am a very good Santa. I take it very seriously, as this is something that kids will remember all of their lives. I have had a lot of training as an actor, and I try to use those skills to create as authentic a Santa as I can. Belle and I have worked hard to make sure we both know our Santa lore and are on the same page. I have a great Santa voice that sounds like you imagine Santa might sound. I am proud of my work, even though I have tremendous anxiety beforehand. My medical condition makes it difficult to know what shape I will be in on any given day, but I think we have things worked out well enough that Belle can cover if I am struggling.

One of the things we do is let the kids and adults ask Santa and Mrs. Claus questions. The older kids, beginning to doubt the reality of Santa, sometimes ask more challenging questions. This is not a problem, as it is inconceivable to my character that anyone could not know that I was the real Santa as I was standing right in front of them. One kid asked “What did you get me for Christmas last year?” and I replied “Santa gives out millions of toys so I don’t remember them all, but if you want, I can contact Binkie in distribution and get back to you.”

On Christmas Eve we did several Santa visits, and this is more of a family affair where adults are also involved. I have a rather spectacular and very theatrical beard, and one adult asked me “Were you born with that beard?” Since I noted that he also had a beard, although less magnificent in appearance, I replied “Were you?” And that is basically what it is- improv doing a character you know really well.

By this time my brother’s luggage had arrived. Christmas Eve we drove around an hour out of our way to make a special Santa delivery. We arrived around 12:30 in the morning. We have this amazing set of sleigh bells that provide a sound that, when we ring them right before a Santa entrance, you can hear all the kids gasp and shout “Santa!” just from the sound.

We rang them outside of the window of the room I assumed my mother had put him up in. We rang them some more. We probably rang them for around ten minutes, to no response. We stopped whispering and talked louder.

From my brother’s perspective, there had been a loud party next door most of the evening. He assumed that drunken idiots from the party had wandered onto the property. He just tried to ignore it all. Eventually, he looked out the window.

His CPAP machine had been in his lost luggage, so for Christmas we brought him the gift a good night’s sleep. We visited for a few minutes with him and then left for the 90 minute drive home. We were quite exhausted at the end of the night.

Right after Christmas the covid numbers really started to rise. We canceled all of the upcoming shows (Belle had a few for New Years Eve and day). She won’t be doing any more until the numbers come down to a safer level, which probably won’t be until mid-March. This makes it insanely difficult to make money as a live entertainer or even to plan very far ahead.

Between the Christmas shows and prep and helping my mother get through the loss of her husband and all the logistics that need to be dealt with, I have had little time to really focus on the novel. As a disciplined writer, though, I have been focusing on another book project (non-fiction) that is surprisingly close to completion. It is a sequel, and the first one took over a decade to write. This has been going very quickly and I can see having it done by May if I can keep up this pace.

By my next entry I hope I have something to say about the novel and what I am doing with it. I am quite anxious to get back to working on it.