I have had to take a pause in writing the past few weeks. Family issues have taken up a bit of time.
My father died last week. It was not a surprise. He was 90. He smoked until he was 70. He drank like a fish most of his life. He seldom exercised. I don’t think any of us expected him to live this long. Still, you are never fully prepared for the death of a close relative.
He will be interred with other veterans at Riverside National Cemetery. It is quite lovely there, as you can tell from the photo above.
We had been driving out to Riverside quite frequently as my Dad deteriorated over the last year, as soon as we both got vaccinated. He began suffering from dementia. The last visit with him I don’t think he knew I was even there most of the time. A couple of days later he had another fall, and they took him to the hospital, where they discovered he had esophageal cancer. He got to come home and had 24 hour nursing care. He only lasted another three days.
My brother flew out to be with Mom. He stayed with me the first night. Right before this my Internet provider forced an equipment upgrade that would discontinue my Internet service right before Christmas if I did not install the new equipment. I have almost everything on Alexa- TVs, heating and cooling, lights, plugs, and much more. It is a complex web of automation, and almost every single device has had to be reconfigured. I only got about halfway by the time my brother arrived.
The only last minute flight right around Christmas that he could find was on Spirit Airlines. If you ever have a choice between a day-long root canal or flying on Spirit, go with the root canal. It will be a lot less painful.
They are the worst airline in the country. If you have any doubts, check out their online reviews and consumer complaints. They are not quite the Economy Minus as depicted in the Amazon sci-fi series Upload episode 8, but pretty darn close.
This is an airline that tried charging passengers to use the bathroom, until the flight attendants got fed up with being handed cans and glasses filled with warm liquid. They continue to charge for water so they at least make a profit on the front-end if no longer on the back-end.
In my magic days, Belle and I performed on a sideshow. They had what were called “dings”, extra ways to extract money from the rubes. They pitched Magic Mice that were sure to disappoint, but could be had for the one-time special of just 2 for a dollar. You could pay extra to see Chloe, the hermaphrodite (fake, of course), or to look down into a box where you were expecting to see a young woman in a far more revealing condition than the actuality. This is described in more detail in my book The Greatest Adventure. You never really got what you thought you were paying for.
We need a different word for what Spirit does, even though their extra charges are in the same spirit as those on the carnival. They charge you extra for literally everything, and in many cases, you have no choice but to pay. They charge a seat fee. These seats have no legroom and make no accommodation for actual human anatomy. My brother is an experienced flier, and this was the most uncomfortable flight he had ever been on.
They have their own unique take on a frequent flyer program- you have to pay a membership fee. You also have to sit through a long pitch for this program with no choice but to listen as they have you trapped on a plane, like a timeshare pitch in the sky, without the free vacation.
They dumped him off in Ft. Lauderdale at gate 1 with a transfer to gate 15 with just a few minutes to get all the way across the terminal. My brother ran, and they were already closing up when he begged them to let him board. He made it. His luggage did not.
I picked my brother up at LAX at 2 am in the morning. We got out of the terminal around 3 am, which was how long it took to learn that they did not know where his luggage was. Supposedly, we would hear first thing in the morning. By noon, we were trying to call them. There is just one phone number for lost luggage. They do not answer it. Ever. You can leave a message, as my brother did countless times. They do not call back. They have few ways to actually get in touch with anyone. If you can find a number, no one answers. We tried the chat window, but I think it was either an AI or someone in another country who could only use canned answers. They offered no help at all.
By the second day my brother drove over to the airport, and trust me, the last thing you want to do is drive to LAX the day before Christmas Eve. They informed him there that the luggage was being delivered to my house as they spoke. It never showed up. I think they flat out lied to him about delivering it.
It had been awhile since my brother had flown anywhere because of covid, and he was upset, and he packed his CPAP machine in his luggage. That turned out to be a bad decision. Spirit takes little responsibility for lost luggage. You can file a claim, but on their site it states most things you might put in luggage are disqualified for reimbursement.
They eventually called him the next morning and said the luggage would arrive that day, Christmas Eve. They offered no time window, and we had to leave at 6 pm for our Santa visits.
Even before we learned the luggage was coming, maybe, we left to grab some lunch. The key would not go in the deadbolt. The deadbolt was toast. We did not have a key for the doorknob.
Although we live in a gated community, we are a bit paranoid about locking the front door. That began when I came downstairs from my office one early evening to find unfamiliar luggage on the floor near the front door. It was beat-up and ratty looking. Belle arrived shortly after that and had no idea about the luggage. We searched the house, and no one was there. After about half an hour, we gave up and went into the living room.
We always have blankets on the couch, and now they were in a strange pile. Underneath we discovered a disheveled woman hiding there. She looked a little crazy. Belle went all mama bear and got her out of the house. Ever since that we always keep the door locked.
Instead of resting up before the Santa show, I spent the time trying to fix the door. Since we had been planning on getting a smart lock, I grabbed one of those. It was incompatible with our door. I had to go back and get a regular doorknob which I knew I could install quickly. I did, and we could now lock the door, but now it was time to get into makeup and costume without any rest. I did finally install a smart lock and I love it. I lover never having to worry about whether I locked the door, and I love the magical way that it detects my smartphone and automatically locks the door as I walk up to it.
If I can give you one Christmas gift, it is this advice: Never ever ever ever fly Spirit Airlines, unless you want your own spirit crushed.